A friend of mine told me about a cleaning product. First, let me tell you, I'm a clean person. I'm not OCD, but I'm not a slob. I have a ton of cleaning products, and I need them because I decided a few months ago that hiring a cleaning service was too extravagant. After all, I live alone and so I really should be able to clean things myself. It's just me, a neat cat and a dog who doesn't drool, but isn't exactly sanitary. Just the other day, she came in from the yard and proceeded to shove her butt across the carpet, leaving a skid mark that made me gag. Well, hellloooo to you, too, Angel. That's her name -- Angel. It's not my choice. I tried to call her by another name, but she ignored me so I reverted to the name the shelter worker said her previous owner gave her. That reduced, but didn't eliminate, the number of times she ignored me.
Real Simple magazine sent me a mailing, which included a handy-dandy little pullout section to help you clean the rooms of your house quickly. Did you know you can clean almost any room in 10 minutes? Here is their suggestion for the kitchen: Wipe the sink (2 minutes), the stove (2 minutes), sweep the floor (2 minutes), wipe the counter (2 minutes), and wipe appliances (2 minutes). So, all of you time-wasting beeyatches out there, cut out your slacking. And don't you whine either! It takes 10 minutes to have a perfectly clean kitchen. They do the same for the other rooms. You're supposed to pull out this guide, put it God- Knows-Where to use as a handy reference. Fuck them. What am I? Short bus slow? Do they really think I'll pull this thing out and say, "Hmmm, let's see. How do I clean my kitchen in only 10 minutes?" This is NOT the way to sell me on your magazine.
Okay, got that off my chest. Now, back to where I started. Listen up, you cleaning gods & godesses, I am a CONVERT to a wonderful cleaning apparatus. It's called the Shark Steam Mop and holey-moley, it's mahvelous! Here's my take on cleaning inventions: they're usually bullshit. Yeah, Swiffer's great. Instead of using a cloth and your hand, you use a disposable piece of cloth and a stick. Oh, wow -- such innovation! Not for me -- I can tell when one of the evil companies that's supposed to be all about helping to make housecleaning less work is just selling stuff we already can do without the expense. But, this is different, chickadees. Why? Because if you're like me, you HATE having to deal with a mop and dirty water in a pail. For instance, I never know when is the best time to dump the pail. Am I now spreading dirty water all over a floor I'm supposed to be cleaning? When I do dump the junk, I get dirty residue on the side of my clean toilet bowls, and ewww -- handling a mop? Yuck! Okay, you can get one of those pails that allow you to push the mop head into to wring it out, but let's face it -- you have to deal with a frickin' dirty mophead with crap stuck on it. Hate it, hate it hate it.
This steam mop is brilliant. Of course, you have to first sweep your floors, but (see above) it should only take about 2 minutes. Then you fill this baby with water, plug it in and Momma, watch it go. It's like vacumming your floors, but instead you're cleaning them. And not only cleaning them, but SANITIZING the kitchen floor!! I don't know about you, but I love me the idea of a sanitized kitchen floor. That way, when I drop a delicious food item that I'm preparing to eat, I can not only utilize the 3-second rule, but I can also assure myself that I am picking it up off a SANITIZED floor. Yay!
Real Simple magazine sent me a mailing, which included a handy-dandy little pullout section to help you clean the rooms of your house quickly. Did you know you can clean almost any room in 10 minutes? Here is their suggestion for the kitchen: Wipe the sink (2 minutes), the stove (2 minutes), sweep the floor (2 minutes), wipe the counter (2 minutes), and wipe appliances (2 minutes). So, all of you time-wasting beeyatches out there, cut out your slacking. And don't you whine either! It takes 10 minutes to have a perfectly clean kitchen. They do the same for the other rooms. You're supposed to pull out this guide, put it God- Knows-Where to use as a handy reference. Fuck them. What am I? Short bus slow? Do they really think I'll pull this thing out and say, "Hmmm, let's see. How do I clean my kitchen in only 10 minutes?" This is NOT the way to sell me on your magazine.
Okay, got that off my chest. Now, back to where I started. Listen up, you cleaning gods & godesses, I am a CONVERT to a wonderful cleaning apparatus. It's called the Shark Steam Mop and holey-moley, it's mahvelous! Here's my take on cleaning inventions: they're usually bullshit. Yeah, Swiffer's great. Instead of using a cloth and your hand, you use a disposable piece of cloth and a stick. Oh, wow -- such innovation! Not for me -- I can tell when one of the evil companies that's supposed to be all about helping to make housecleaning less work is just selling stuff we already can do without the expense. But, this is different, chickadees. Why? Because if you're like me, you HATE having to deal with a mop and dirty water in a pail. For instance, I never know when is the best time to dump the pail. Am I now spreading dirty water all over a floor I'm supposed to be cleaning? When I do dump the junk, I get dirty residue on the side of my clean toilet bowls, and ewww -- handling a mop? Yuck! Okay, you can get one of those pails that allow you to push the mop head into to wring it out, but let's face it -- you have to deal with a frickin' dirty mophead with crap stuck on it. Hate it, hate it hate it.
This steam mop is brilliant. Of course, you have to first sweep your floors, but (see above) it should only take about 2 minutes. Then you fill this baby with water, plug it in and Momma, watch it go. It's like vacumming your floors, but instead you're cleaning them. And not only cleaning them, but SANITIZING the kitchen floor!! I don't know about you, but I love me the idea of a sanitized kitchen floor. That way, when I drop a delicious food item that I'm preparing to eat, I can not only utilize the 3-second rule, but I can also assure myself that I am picking it up off a SANITIZED floor. Yay!
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