Don't we all love "snow days?" I never tire of that feeling when work/school is cancelled. Sleep is never as gratifying as it is when the alarm goes off, you listen to the radio while in bed, find out school is cancelled, roll over and go back to sleep. Isn't that the BEST.SLEEP.EVER?
Here in Texas, we don't have snow days, because when it snows, you can blow the stuff off your windshield and drive. We have ice days. Without going into the science of it (i.e., the ground is warm, the air cold, add precipitation, you got ice), I promise you -- it's something to fear and dread. I have been a New Yorker for most of my life. I've braved the elements. The ice in Texas is lots worse than you can imagine. That's because it's "black ice." I don't know why it's called that -- it should be called "clear ice," or "scary ice." Here's why: you see a damp street/pavement and you walk/drive, and everything is copacetic. See? The sidewalk/road is fine, you think. It feels fine. Then, all of a sudden, wham, you fall flat on your butt (happened to me a month ago), or wheee, you feel your car sliding (happened to me coming to work today), and you're like: Holy shit! How did that happen? (Then you tell your dog to look away as you struggle to your feet in a very humiliating fashion...I mean, how do you stand on a slick surface?...it was like a 3 stooges show, except with one stooge and a dog.)
So, my ice day went like this:
9:30 a.m. - rolled out of bed; fed the cat; let the dog out; drank coffee;
10 a.m. - Call from Mom II (Mrs. Burns) While on the phone, get a running commentary about what she's watching on TV. ("Oh, look at that truck...oh, it's...oh, it's spinning around on the highway...oh, no, another car just ran smack into it...oh.") I say, "Don't put your garbage out. It's too dangerous out there. I'll pull it out for you." Mom II: "Oh, it's no big deal. I have my boots on, and I'll be very careful." Me: "But the driveway is steep and you could really hurt yourself." Mom II: "Don't worry, I'll watch where I'm walking. Besides, you could fall yourself if you do it." Me: "I have stronger bones and more padding. You do know that you can't SEE black ice. Remember, my fall last month?" Mom II: Laughs. She puts the garbage out anyway. Arrrrghh.
10:30 a.m - breakfast
11 a.m. - what's happening online? How many emails have I received? Okay, so how many are interesting? Okay, so delete, delete, delete, etc. What's going on in the news? I wonder if I can play a quick little online game for a few minutes?
1 p.m. - Is it lunchtime? Nah... I had a nice breakfast -- not hungry now. What's on the DVR. Whoa! It's 97% full! I better start watching stuff.
1:30 p.m. - I don't know how much I want to commit to this TV watching. Maybe just a couple of half-hour shows. Let's see..."Just Cook This," with Sam the Cooking Guy...I like him. I have Chinese cooking, chicken, seafood, Mexican. Okay, I wonder how much I can get through.
3 p.m. - I'm sooo friggin' hungry! But I still have more cooking shows. I really like what he does with fish. Where's the chocolate I have left over from Christmas?
Damn, I don't have anything in the house that Sam the Cooking Guy used on any of his shows! Where is that chocolate. Ahhh, here it is. Oh, wait a second...is that a beer in the back of the fridge? Hmmm that would be good. Oh, and there's cheese, crackers...hmmm
5 p.m. - Done! I've finally reduced my DVR to 84% full. Now what? Oh, wait a second...is Judge Judy on? I never get the chance to see her during the week, and I cannot spare any room on my DVR for something cheesy like that. Wait a second? Is that woman really suing her ex-husband. I gotta see this.
5:45 p.m. - Is it really evening? Man! I can't believe this...stupid DVR kept me planted in front of the TV all afternoon. Stupid cooking guy made me so hungry. I hate TV.
6 p.m. - Okay, so I have 2 classes that I'm teaching. I should get going and prepare. Boy, if these kids ever realized how I'm making this up as I go along...I gotta start by getting the class websites in order.
7 p.m - We'll be discussing the Alien & Sedition Acts. I have the John Adams DVD..I wonder how they address this in the series. Maybe I can show part of this in class.
9 p.m - Wow, that is really a great series. Ummm, I can't decide which excerpts to use. I need to go back through a couple of scenes.
10 p.m. - The Daily Show. The Colbert Report.
11 p.m. - NOOOOOO! Is that it? Holy crap...I got zero accomplished. What a slug!
Midnight --- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Here in Texas, we don't have snow days, because when it snows, you can blow the stuff off your windshield and drive. We have ice days. Without going into the science of it (i.e., the ground is warm, the air cold, add precipitation, you got ice), I promise you -- it's something to fear and dread. I have been a New Yorker for most of my life. I've braved the elements. The ice in Texas is lots worse than you can imagine. That's because it's "black ice." I don't know why it's called that -- it should be called "clear ice," or "scary ice." Here's why: you see a damp street/pavement and you walk/drive, and everything is copacetic. See? The sidewalk/road is fine, you think. It feels fine. Then, all of a sudden, wham, you fall flat on your butt (happened to me a month ago), or wheee, you feel your car sliding (happened to me coming to work today), and you're like: Holy shit! How did that happen? (Then you tell your dog to look away as you struggle to your feet in a very humiliating fashion...I mean, how do you stand on a slick surface?...it was like a 3 stooges show, except with one stooge and a dog.)
So, my ice day went like this:
9:30 a.m. - rolled out of bed; fed the cat; let the dog out; drank coffee;
10 a.m. - Call from Mom II (Mrs. Burns) While on the phone, get a running commentary about what she's watching on TV. ("Oh, look at that truck...oh, it's...oh, it's spinning around on the highway...oh, no, another car just ran smack into it...oh.") I say, "Don't put your garbage out. It's too dangerous out there. I'll pull it out for you." Mom II: "Oh, it's no big deal. I have my boots on, and I'll be very careful." Me: "But the driveway is steep and you could really hurt yourself." Mom II: "Don't worry, I'll watch where I'm walking. Besides, you could fall yourself if you do it." Me: "I have stronger bones and more padding. You do know that you can't SEE black ice. Remember, my fall last month?" Mom II: Laughs. She puts the garbage out anyway. Arrrrghh.
10:30 a.m - breakfast
11 a.m. - what's happening online? How many emails have I received? Okay, so how many are interesting? Okay, so delete, delete, delete, etc. What's going on in the news? I wonder if I can play a quick little online game for a few minutes?
1 p.m. - Is it lunchtime? Nah... I had a nice breakfast -- not hungry now. What's on the DVR. Whoa! It's 97% full! I better start watching stuff.
1:30 p.m. - I don't know how much I want to commit to this TV watching. Maybe just a couple of half-hour shows. Let's see..."Just Cook This," with Sam the Cooking Guy...I like him. I have Chinese cooking, chicken, seafood, Mexican. Okay, I wonder how much I can get through.
3 p.m. - I'm sooo friggin' hungry! But I still have more cooking shows. I really like what he does with fish. Where's the chocolate I have left over from Christmas?
Damn, I don't have anything in the house that Sam the Cooking Guy used on any of his shows! Where is that chocolate. Ahhh, here it is. Oh, wait a second...is that a beer in the back of the fridge? Hmmm that would be good. Oh, and there's cheese, crackers...hmmm
5 p.m. - Done! I've finally reduced my DVR to 84% full. Now what? Oh, wait a second...is Judge Judy on? I never get the chance to see her during the week, and I cannot spare any room on my DVR for something cheesy like that. Wait a second? Is that woman really suing her ex-husband. I gotta see this.
5:45 p.m. - Is it really evening? Man! I can't believe this...stupid DVR kept me planted in front of the TV all afternoon. Stupid cooking guy made me so hungry. I hate TV.
6 p.m. - Okay, so I have 2 classes that I'm teaching. I should get going and prepare. Boy, if these kids ever realized how I'm making this up as I go along...I gotta start by getting the class websites in order.
7 p.m - We'll be discussing the Alien & Sedition Acts. I have the John Adams DVD..I wonder how they address this in the series. Maybe I can show part of this in class.
9 p.m - Wow, that is really a great series. Ummm, I can't decide which excerpts to use. I need to go back through a couple of scenes.
10 p.m. - The Daily Show. The Colbert Report.
11 p.m. - NOOOOOO! Is that it? Holy crap...I got zero accomplished. What a slug!
Midnight --- ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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