Skip to main content

Rat-tat-phooey

Never once did I think it was a good idea to have a rat helping out in the kitchen. As a matter of fact, even after I saw "Ratatouille", I still wasn't convinced. Fortunately, I never had to worry about that --until recently. I was taking Angel to park one weekend last month when she started going nuts in the garage. She was sniffing and scratching around boxes and getting more and more agitated. I thought she may have found a gecko -- you know those cute green lizards that sell insurance. I certainly wouldn't mind giving shelter to that little Australian-accented bugger, so I called the dog off, got into the car and didn't give it a thought...until I was in bed that night. What could have set the dog off? What if it wasn't a little lizard? So, the next night, I opened both garage doors and let Angel at it. I even gave her an assist -- at one point moving a box when she couldn't get behind it. That's when I saw it. Was it a mouse? At first, I thought it was, because it didn't have big fangs, and it had a little mousey face. But it wasn't really tiny. I figured it might weigh like 8 oz to a pound. And it moved pretty quickly. As much as I was in denial, I knew -- it was a rat! And Angel was determined to catch it. I immediately transformed into the dog's coach, "Atta girl, baby. Get it! Where is it? Good girl!" The only thing I didn't do was drape a towel around her shoulders and wipe her muzzle.

Then, the horrid rodent started running in the open as if to escape. That was a good thing, right? The garage doors were open and there was nothing between it and the great outdoors. Except at that moment I lost it and screamed like a little girl. Startled, the rat ran back in. Damn! Okay, so I changed my strategy, and instead of backing Angel up, I positioned myself near the opposite wall and let the dog do her thing. Sure enough, the rat made another attempt. EEEEEKKKKK! I quickly slapped my hand over my mouth, but it was too little, too late. Back into his hiding place he ran. Shit.

The next thing I saw was a little head peeping out from behind a box on a shelf. Freakin' thing realized the floor wasn't the place to be anymore and headed for higher ground. "Angel, Angel, over there, it's over there." Unfortunately, Angel didn't look at me, nod and follow the direction where I pointed. She just looked at me and moved in a different direction. It was left to me to play a little Whack-a-Mole. I grabbed a plunger and threw it at the rat, but of course it was too fast. A little while later, it peeked out from behind a paint can. I grabbed a baseball glove, and again, I missed.

By now, the dog and I were exhausted. It was like 100 degrees in the garage, and even though I made sure to walk Angel over to the water spigot a few times to give her a long drink, we were both feeling dehydrated and depleted. I took her for a short walk to calm her down, and closed everything up. My next move was calling the exterminator.

The rat is gone. I think it left when I took the dog for a walk. If the rat poison did its job, one of us - me or Angel - would have smelled something dead in the garage. But, since there's no horrible smell and Angel hasn't become agitated, I think it took a powder when it had the chance.

I could be wrong. I haven't moved a single thing in the garage, and I won't go in there without Angel at my side, just in case. I only recently moved my car back in, because I had nightmares about driving into work and seeing a rat crawling around the floorboard. I don't think I'd survive something like that.

Those Disney people are sick f*ckers.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Like-Hate-Hate Relationship with Dave Ramsey

I cannot go to sleep in silence, so I usually have talk radio on as I drift off. Most times, the cadence of the talking head becomes the white noise I need. But sometimes I actually listen to the conversations. As much as I hope for Clark Howard, Dave Ramsey happens to be the head that's talking when I go to bed. Gradually, I became aware of his philosophies. He has many, but I'll focus on just a few: 1) Get Rid of All Debt - I really like this one. As someone who wants the points my credit card awards, or the cashback my other credit card awards, I feel like I'm always a month behind. I pay off my balance in full each month, but by then of course, I have lowered my bank account and have less to spend in the current month. I do wonder what it would feel like to pay just the bills for my current living expenses. I plan to give it a go, but I won't buy Ramsay's book or go to Financial Peace University. "Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off mortgag...

While I can still think thoughts...

Who would imagine the changes that occur as one ages? We all know that physiologically, things happen -- we get gray hair, the waist disappears, joints creak, etc., but I have experienced some startling changes that remind me I'm no spring chicken (NOTE: Using the term "spring chicken? -- definitely a sign of aging). I find partially used tissues around my living space. And by "living space," I mean the recliner I sit in each night to watch TV and in the pockets of my comfy robe that I wear religiously every evening. When I was a kid visiting my grandmothers, I was saddened and puzzled by the random tissues I saw in their wake. I don't know why this happens, and it doesn't matter because it's just me at home, but it's kinda disturbing when I do my vacuuming and find one tucked into the side of the chair cushion. How did I become so attached to tissues? I distinctly remember when I was young, thinking how strange it was that lunch ladies had to wear ha...

Sarah Barracuda

Sarah Palin quit. She just left. It's like if you were a contractor who hired someone to work on the roof of a house and at the halfway point he said, "Hey, find another roofer. I gotta go, but don't call me a quitter, 'cause I'm not." A part of me says, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass." But another part of me says, "You really got the short end of it, Sarah. You were analyzed up, down, sideways and with about 10 different standards." And a big part of that was because she was a woman. Look at Mitt Romney. Don't you think if he were a woman, the press would have worked like mad to figure out what-the-heck kind of name "Mitt" is? Quick: how many kids does John McCain have? I know he has Megan and a kid in Iraq, but other than that, I'm at a loss, and this guy was running for president! So as I watch Keith (Olbermann) and Rachel (Maddow) castigate Palin, I have misgivings. I don't like Sarah as a leader or m...