Today was a double-whammy weather day: High heat index (>100), plus we were put on ozone-alertness. I was very alert to ozone. I saw it here; I saw it there; I saw, I saw it everywhere. As always when the temps exceed 90, I slogged into the bedroom, dropping clothes, bags, etc, as I walked. After putting away a few things, I began this internal dialog:
ME: You know what I'd love to throw on right now? A house dress.
INNER ME: (pause) What?
ME: Yeah, you know, one of those loose, cotton dresses -- sleeveless, underwear optional, but definitely no bra.
IM: I know what that is. Why would you..
ME: I'm hot, tired, and I need to loosen the air around my bod.
IM: Eww
ME: Really, right now, this is so appealing, only I don't own one of these. Maybe I need to hunt one down this weekend.
IM: No. You don't.
ME: What's the big deal? My comfort is important, right? In the privacy of my own home, I should be able to wear this.
IM: You do have to live with yourself. You know that.
ME: Come on, stop resisting. Who am I hurting by wearing one?
IM: Have you stopped to picture yourself in one of those dresses? I mean really picture yourself?
ME: Well, not really.
IM: Who was the last person you saw wearing one of those?
ME: Well, probably my grandmother.
IM: How old was she?
ME: I dunno, probably about 85 or so.
IM: So your mom didn't wear one. Why do you think she didn't?
ME: Well, she was pretty particular about the way she looked.
IM: Even when no one was around? Even in the summer?
ME: Well, yeah.
IM: So picture this: You throw on one of those "house dresses." You go about your business. Then you see your reflection in a mirror. Are you happy, contented, or deeply remorseful?
ME: (pause) sddmeosnfshw..sfes.esddw...
IM: Speak up. I can't hear you.
ME: I think I would hate myself with a dark, deep, angry, vicious self-loathing that I haven't felt since middle school.
IM: Good. I think you get it.
ME: So what? I put on my old loose sweats with a tank top?
IM: Not pretty, but you can handle the mirror with that outfit.
ME: I hate you.
IM: Yeah, I know.
ME: You know what I'd love to throw on right now? A house dress.
INNER ME: (pause) What?
ME: Yeah, you know, one of those loose, cotton dresses -- sleeveless, underwear optional, but definitely no bra.
IM: I know what that is. Why would you..
ME: I'm hot, tired, and I need to loosen the air around my bod.
IM: Eww
ME: Really, right now, this is so appealing, only I don't own one of these. Maybe I need to hunt one down this weekend.
IM: No. You don't.
ME: What's the big deal? My comfort is important, right? In the privacy of my own home, I should be able to wear this.
IM: You do have to live with yourself. You know that.
ME: Come on, stop resisting. Who am I hurting by wearing one?
IM: Have you stopped to picture yourself in one of those dresses? I mean really picture yourself?
ME: Well, not really.
IM: Who was the last person you saw wearing one of those?
ME: Well, probably my grandmother.
IM: How old was she?
ME: I dunno, probably about 85 or so.
IM: So your mom didn't wear one. Why do you think she didn't?
ME: Well, she was pretty particular about the way she looked.
IM: Even when no one was around? Even in the summer?
ME: Well, yeah.
IM: So picture this: You throw on one of those "house dresses." You go about your business. Then you see your reflection in a mirror. Are you happy, contented, or deeply remorseful?
ME: (pause) sddmeosnfshw..sfes.esddw...
IM: Speak up. I can't hear you.
ME: I think I would hate myself with a dark, deep, angry, vicious self-loathing that I haven't felt since middle school.
IM: Good. I think you get it.
ME: So what? I put on my old loose sweats with a tank top?
IM: Not pretty, but you can handle the mirror with that outfit.
ME: I hate you.
IM: Yeah, I know.
Your daughter owns two house dresses btw.
ReplyDelete(They're just loose cotton stretchy dresses, but I do own them and I do wear them. I even wear one for exercising sometimes.)